spock: live long and prosper bitch

Star Trek Fic: Nothing Left to Lose

Title: Nothing Left to Lose
Author: igrockspock
Fandom: Star Trek Reboot
Pairing/character: Spock (gen)
Rating: No sex, some language
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Notes:Originally posted to yahtzee63's Journey to Drabble challenge under my personal journal's user name.

Summary: Spock decides not to attend the Vulcan Science Academy

Spock waits exactly 12.2 seconds before refusing the Vulcan Science Academy's offer of admission. Making his choice takes 1.2 of those seconds. Recognizing that it conflicts with logic requires 5.4. Logic, he thinks, clearly dictates that when given the choice between two disadvantageous situations, the least disadvantageous is the most desirable. Between Starfleet and the Vulcan Science Academy, it is obvious which offers the fewest disadvantages. The Science Academy offers greater opportunities for intellectual expansion. Opportunities for space exploration will initially be limited but will be available with further advancement, most likely with greater flexibility than afforded by Starfleet. Furthermore, attending the Science Academy will preserve harmony within the family unit, while joining Starfleet will disrupt it. In fact, the Science Academy has only one drawback: their belief that human ancestry is a disadvantage. This belief could quickly be disproven, therefore the disadvantage is minimal. In light of this evaluation, accepting admission to the Vulcan Science Academy is the more logical, and therefore, better decision.

In 2.5 seconds, he concludes that he does not care what logic dictates, and he waits an additional 3.1 seconds to insure that his voice betrays no sign of the anger he cannot quite suppress. When he says, "then I must decline," what he really means is "fuck you."

After rendering his decision, he leaves the Science Academy as quickly as possible; he knows he must explain his decision to his father, and etiquette demands he do so immediately. That does not stop him from spending 13.4 minutes contemplating his decision in a sanitary cubicle one floor beneath his father's office, cataloging the things he has lost: academic opportunities he has sought since boyhood, his father's respect (also sought since boyhood), his fellow Vulcans' belief in his own Vulcan-ness, and with it, his tenuous claim to his father's homeworld as his own.

But, no matter how it will appear to his father, he has not lost everything. He still has himself. This is the thought that propels him out of the bathroom and into his father's office, where he knows exactly what he will do: calmly state his decision, and take his leave of Sarek. Whatever his ancestry, he is a Vulcan. His devotion to logic and control are impeccable. For anyone to suggest or believe otherwise is an act of prejudice against him and hypocrisy against the creed of infinite diversity in infinite combination. Prejudice and hypocrisy are illogical, and it is no more logical to accept them from his father than from the Vulcan Science Academy.

He says as much to his father, and he knows it is true. But his logic, while sound, is merely justification for an emotional decision in defense of the one other thing that he has not lost, can never lose, and will never regard as a disadvantage: his mother's love.
Awww!! This was perfectly bittersweet. I love your exploration of Spock's decision, and his love for his mother overriding all the otherwise impeccable logic.

Edited at 2009-05-26 01:29 pm (UTC)
Nicely done! The irrefutable logic and poignant emotion in this piece perfectly reflect the puzzle that is Spock. Nicely done!
You _do_ Grok Spock! Well done! I love his logical analysis of why the Vulcan Science Academy is superior-- and his decision to turn it down anyway. Very nicely done!

Sweet. :D This felt really plausible as a look inside Spock's head.
This is well done! I felt he was cursing them out too when he declined... and he was so clever with his comeback when they pointed out that no Vulcan had declined entry: "By me being half-human your record goes untouched(or whatever)." But you are so right- there is nothing like a mother's love. That is is one that doesn't judge you, and won't fail you. Thanks for writing this.
I believe your characterzation is dead-on! Great job conveying Spock's rationale for his decision!
Insightful look inside Spock's head. I love his thoughts about the decision and the last paragraph especially. Thanks for sharing. :-)
Word. Amazing! That internal monologue at the beginning (well, ok, throughout - I guess what I'm trying to say is the progression of Spock's logic), getting to see that - that was amazing. Perfect! And also, how do you think of this? The part about his father was heartbreaking, and an amazing glimpse of how yes, Vulcans do feel emotions, but they use logic to control them. Some might say rationalize, but I love how honest they (you) are about it. Anyway, love :)
Excellent take on Spock. Woo-- I'll be going through your fics ♥ They seem to be made of awesome
Thank you so much for commenting on this piece. It is the first piece of fanfic I ever wrote, and it's quite dear to my heart :)