spock: logic is sexy

Ficlet: Luxury (Kirk - gen)

Title: Luxury
Author/Artist: igrockspock
Pairing(s): Kirk (gen)
Rating: PG
Summary: Kirk doesn't want, need, or deserve the captain's quarters
Notes/Warnings: Written for yahtzee63's Where No Drabble Has Gone Before challenge

Jim doesn't want the captain's quarters. The luxury of so much wide-open space is unearned. Maybe ten years from now, after long service in the line of duty, he'll deserve this separation from his crew. Now, though, he feels like a kid. The truth is, he's always been a kid, even though he's claimed adulthood since he was 12. Convincing Pike of the Romulan attack, becoming the first officer, diving through space to destroy the drill and save Sulu -- the whole time, he'd been thinking I'm going to win. Like it was a fucking game.

Don't get him wrong: he'll take the command. Maybe he doesn't deserve it, but he will excel. But the job isn't just leading away missions and firing on enemies and making brilliant tactical decisions that quite literally save the world. If one person -- just one person -- had pushed a button too late or freaked out or stepped away from their post for even one second, they might have all died. The fucking Earth might have been destroyed. The Enterprise has one hell of a crew, and they are his most precious resource. More precious than the Enterprise even. His job, his real job, is to take care of those people.

Someone must need these quarters more than he does. A married couple, maybe, or a group of ensigns who don't deserve to be shoved in a 4-bed bunk with a bathroom down the hall. There has to be someone with clothes and pictures and significant others to fill up this vast, luxurious space.

Reaching for the miniature PADD in his back pocket has become second nature now. Once, it had held the comm numbers of every female cadet at the academy -- half of whom are now dead -- but he brushes that thought aside and flips to the to-do list he's been keeping since his promotion. That he even has a to-do list would have been inconceivable two weeks ago, but he pushes that thought down too, because not only does he have a to-do list, he has subdivisions and headings and categories for it too. Under "crew-related tasks," he begins typing a note to see who could make use of these quarters, but he stops half-way through. Somehow he senses that giving up these rooms is a violation of protocol, something he actually has to care about now. He can't bunk down with the ensigns and yeomen and second lieutenants, however much he might want to. Instead, he makes a note to find out how to give his captain's allowance of extra replicator tokens and real water showers to someone who deserves it. It isn't much, but it will have to do.
Aww, Jim. It's nice to see fics that highlight the qualities that will make him an excellent captain.
Thank you! I really wanted to write a piece that showed him as more than a frat boy.

On a side note, your icon makes me want to write a Kirk fic with that title...
OMG! OMG! *flails wildly* That is so, so, so perfect I don't even have words! No words! None!

OK, fine, some words. I love this. I love how this has all been a game for Kirk (and it has, and I was thinking ABOUT THIS EXACT THING on the way to work thi morning): something he's good at, or has the potential to be good at, but not something he's taking seriously (Kobayashi Maru was the perfect example - I think actually cheating the test was brilliant, go him, but he still didn't take it seriously - in a way, Spock was right too). And now he has to take it seriously, he has to step up, because people are relying on him, and he can do it. Wooooo!!!

♥ ♥ ♥
I was also thinking how much harder he would find to draw that line between captain and crew, given that he was at the Academy with half his crew and are likely to know him all too well. I love that he realises here that he has to keep the captain's quarters. Oh, Jim. He's growing up so fast... *g*
This is just perfect! Exactly what makes me love Jim (that, and a million other awesome qualities he has!))) Brilliant ficlet! <3
Oh, perfect capture of the pain and ambiguity Kirk must feel after taking command of the ship.

I wish I could write small pieces like this.
Heh. I guess the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I was wishing as I posted this that I knew how to expand it into something larger.

Thanks for the feedback :)
Nice. Very nice and very like him, and a good job at showcasing another side of Jim Kirk.
I love love loved this. The mixed feelings are absolutely perfect. The entire feeling and grasp on Kirk's character is 00% on the dot and sad and moving and heartwarming at the same time~ <3 Absolutely adored~
Thank you so much! I was totally not expecting such enthusiastic feedback about this piece, so I'm really glad you found it so in character.
Oh, great job. Totally great. I like how you portrayed him. Because, I'd be thinking the same thing if I went through life like that.
oh jim,you giant f'ing woobie. magnificent character study, really really well written and poignant.
Thank you! I'm especially gratified that you found it a good character study; characterization is so important to me in writing.
Awww... I love seeing him putting his crew first here, doing what he can to make sure they're taken care of properly. He's a good Captain. :)
I swear, all your stories are becoming my personal canon for these characters.

I love this Jim, this conflicted, thoughtful person who's learning how to be captain and all that it entails. I love that he wants to be one of the crew again, even if it's never going to happen, I love his to-do, subdivided lists, and I love that he comes to a compromise that satisfies him without breaking the rules. He's not a hotshot whiz kid anymore, but he still does things his way, lives up to his personal code of honor.

It's amazing how much of him you fleshed out in just a few paragraphs. Wonderful story.
This was really nicely done. I love his maturation and him thinking through the things that could have gone wrong and realizing how much he's responsible for. Lovely work.
Thank you! Characterization is very important to me in writing, so that's a very gratifying comment to receive.
Thank you! Characterization is very important to me in writing, so that's a very gratifying comment to receive.
Thank you so much! This was one of my first Kirk pieces, so I'm glad you felt the characterization worked.
Oh man, this just made my heart go pitter pat. This is Jim becoming the captain who is married to his ship