spock: logic is sexy

Fic: Bitch (Uhura - gen)

Title: Bitch
Author: igrockspock
Characters/Pairings: Uhura- gen
Rating: PG
Warnings: mild language
Auhtor's Notes: can be read as a one-shot or as a sequel to Child/Mother Sinner/Saint and prequel to The Needs of the Many
Summary: What bitch means to other people, and what it means to her



All her life, men have called her a bitch.

The first time, she was 14. She stood outside the darkened doorway of a bar -- the third this evening -- trying to discern her father's voice from the shouts inside. She wants to go home, just tell her mom that she can't find him. But then she pictures her mother's face, pale and creased with pain, and she can't do it. Instead, she squares her shoulders, takes a deep breath, and strides inside. She feels the men's eyes sliding over her breasts, caressing her ass, but this time she does not -- will not -- shrink from it.

"What's your name, baby?" they call to her. "Papa got something for you!"

She doesn't answer, just pulls her father away from his beer, stubs out his cigarette with the heel of her battered trainers.

"Bitch!" the men call after her, knowing her father is too drunk to fight. But she barely hears them; she is already pulling him out the door.

Now, she is 16 and she strides through the darkened streets as if she's been doing it her whole life. Not even a bag over her head would stop the men catcalling her, but she's learned to walk with an authoritative stride that makes sure they know not to touch her.

When they call her a bitch, she knows it's just the word insecure men use for a woman who won't give them what they want. She's okay with that.

And she knows she's not a bitch, not really, because she can see her that father's not a bad man, just a weak one. He never hits, and he quits drinking long before his paycheck's gone. When she was little, he whispered her ancestors' stories in her ear by the flickering light of an autumn bonfire. Even now, he takes good care of her mother, following the color coded medication schedule Nyota made for him a few months ago. But he does not notice that the laundry piles up, that her brothers leave towers of dirty dishes in the sink, that the house smells of sick if it's not scrubbed from top to bottom every Sunday.

"You're such a good girl," he slurs in her ear when she leads him home every Saturday night. His eyes are so filled with pride that she cannot bear to tell him the truth: that she is so tired, all the time. That cleaning the house and taking care of her brothers means she stays up till 3 doing her homework and sleeps all day at school. That she sneaks out at night and comes home smelling of beer and cigarettes and she hates him for never noticing. For choosing not to notice.

Most of all, she does not tell him that she longs to escape, that every time she looks at the stars, she imagines a dark and quiet place where her mother never moans and she never spends her Friday nights chained to a sickbed. Selfish bitch, she tells herself and wraps her arm around her father.
Oh, Uhura.

she knows it's just the word insecure men use for a woman who won't give them what they want.

I love that she's so confident at 16. It makes sense. I like this background you've given her. It's heartbreaking, but so interesting.
Thank you for all the lovely feedback! I'm glad I succeeded in giving her an interesting, plausible background that wasn't too angsty.
This packed quite a punch! I like the complex portayal not only of Uhura, but her family as well.
The ending sentences are just the kickers in this one. A complex and rich background for a character-perfect in its imperfections.