spock: logic is sexy

Ficlet: After (George/Winona)

Title: After
Author: igrockspock
Pairing: George/Winona
Rating: Teen
Summary: Winona has some choice comments for George. Too bad he's dead.
Notes: Written as a sequel to Made to Be Broken, but makes sense as a one-shot.

You promised, George. You promised that if there was a fight, I'd fight beside you.

I know, I know. And if we go down, we go down together. But, Wi, the baby.

And you promised that you wouldn't go all macho and protective on me just because I let you knock me up. It was still me, George, and I wanted to be there.

You were in labor. You really would've let the baby die so you could go down with me?

She can picture the exact expression on his face. He'd turn away from her, and she'd see it all in profile -- eyes squinching, brows contracting, blowing out a long, deep breath. Then she'd have a choice. She could say, "oh, the you-are-so-fucking-exasperating look. The why-the-fuck-won't-you-listen-to-me-for-once look." She'd say it fast, so all the words blurred together, and she'd smile so he couldn't mistake her tone. Then they'd laugh because she knows him so well she can title his facial expressions, and the argument would be over. But if she's really, really mad -- and she is, a lot, she's never claimed not to have a temper -- this is where to start the fight. She'd yell "goddammit, George!" and then they'd both be red-faced and screaming till all their anger'd blown out. Now that this is all in her imagination, the choice seems hollow, but she can't stand to think of George laughing, so she presses on.

You think I'd let either of you die, George? she shouts in her head. You know me. I'd've given birth on the floor of the bridge, gotten straight back up, and fought with a phaser in my hand and a baby at my breast.

A phaser, Wi? A fucking phaser? You think that would have helped? Don't give me your bullshit about no-win scenarios. They exist. That was one.

It wasn't. You won. Look at me and Jimmy, alive in our little house in Iowa. I'm sorry I yelled.

His face dissolves with her anger, leaving her to lie in bed alone and wish that had been the last conversation with her husband. Why "you should be here, George" instead of "fuck you George for going down without me"? He would have laughed. He deserved to go out fighting and laughing instead of fighting and hurting. And she would have liked to have one last moment to be herself with her husband. She would have liked him to have one last memory of who she really is.
Thank you! I have one other story about Winona floating around on here, but it was kind of a preliminary effort at characterization, so I'm not in love with it. I like the version of Winona though, and I intend to write more of her.
Thank you! I am really intrigued by the people who were capable of making a James T. Kirk, so it's been really fun to try and figure them out.
Ohhhh.... *wibble*

This is perfectly imperfect. You gave her her anger, their love, the esprit d'escalier, everything that should be here. Oh, Winona.
Hee! I had to look up your long, fancy French term. Now I shall file it away so that I might sound more educated in the future. Thank you for the feedback!
"And you promised that you wouldn't go all macho and protective on me just because I let you knock me up."

so. much. win.

Also: last paragraph making me hurt, man.